MTV DESI

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Why do we love Bollywood throwbacks so much? Is it because we rediscover the familiarity of music that we grew up with? Or is it because the industry produces so much music that they’ve drained themselves of new ideas and the only way to hear anything good now a days is to go into the Bolly vault and re-purpose a classic?

You can answer that question for yourself.

The latest track to get a facelift is “Chandni O Meri Chandni” from the forthcoming film, Chaar Din Ki Chandni. RDB gave the track a 2012 update by adding their label’s new signee, Parichay to the track along with Bollywood powerhouse, Sunidhi Chauhan.

Usually we are of the opinion that anything that Sunidhi sings turns to audible gold. Luckily for RDB, she carries the track with her brassy vocals and 80s Bollywood style chattering on the track. Parichay’s voice has a great Bollywood crooner feel a la (an auto tuned) Sonu Niigam, but he lacks the bass power that Jolly Mukherjee brought to the original “Chandini.”

At the end of the day, this track is all bells and whistles and pumped up back beats and some Punjabi lines thrown in because — well, it’s RDB and that’s what they do best. We’re going to have to wait and see if, once it’s seen as part of the film, it’ll pack the same punch as the original. Here are a couple more throwbacks that were given a new millennium makeover. Let’s see if they match up.

“Yamla Pagla Deewana” from Yamla Pagla Deewana 2011
Here’s another RDB throwback track. This time around, the song became extremely popular. Having the original actors as part of the mix may have contributed. Can you really not enjoy all of the Deols together in one shot?

“Bachna Ae Haseeno” from Bachna Ae Haseeno 2008
Half-naked Ranbir Kapoor + three gorgeous ladies = a monster hit. The “Bachna” update blended the original with new pop mechanized sounds, but kept the brassy trumpet, which is what made the track so iconic in the first place. To top it off, Ranbir can dance like nobody’s business.

“Mehbooba” from Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag 2007
Maybe if Ram Gopal Varma wasn’t so creepy, this song wouldn’t be so awkward. But it is. The original was sexy and scantily clad, but the 2007 version was like an extreme Blair Witch rendition of a classic. Epic fail, Ramu.

“The Medley” from Mujhse Dosti Karoge 2002
Is there anything better than a game of antakshri? Yes. Watching Hrithik play a pseudo game with Rani, Kareena and Uday. The medley of old school tracks is a brilliant homage to magic of Bollywood.

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NBC’s reality music show, The Voice, stars superstar musicians like Christina Aguilera, Adam Levine and Cee Lo Green. The artists select a team of budding singers to train and mold into tomorrow’s chart toppers — Think Sa Re Ga Ma Pa gharanas without Himesh Reshamiya. Among this season’s contestants is the quirky and super fly, Mathai.

Hers seems like the quintessential Desi story. Mathai grew up in a family of doctors and excelled in science. But as cool as dissecting frogs may have been, this Queens born turned Southern Belle (she says y’all a lot and we love it) wasn’t made for a white coat and stethoscope. She was made for a mic.

The girl has a quirky, bubbly personality with a HUGE voice to match. For her blind audition, she belted out Adele’s “Rumor Has It” with her own spin. It was like Adele, M.I.A. and Amy Winehouse got really drunk, knocked each other up and collectively produced Mathai. Her voice has an impressive richness and texture for a young lass of just 18. Even judge, Adam Levine said he had never heard a voice like hers.

The Voice airs Mondays at 8pm. Will you tune in to see Mathai knock the judges’ socks off?

Check out Mathai’s rendition of “Rumor Has It:”

Saif's Victims: Iqbal Meer Sharma and his father-in-law. Photo Credit: Getty

Don’t worry, it’s not us who Saif Ali Khan punched after our scathing review of the hideously takcy, non-Mujra “Dil Mera Muft Ka” from his upcoming film. The Bollywood actor, turned producer; turned boyfriend of the industry’s hottest actress did, however, beat up an old uncleji and his son-in-law.

The story, as has been reported, is pretty petty and ridiculous. Saif; Kareena; possibly her sister, Karishma; Amrita Arora; Shakeel Ladak and Bilal Amrohi were out to dinner at the fancy-shamcy Taj Hotel in Mumbai. The crew was boisterous and “giggly” (according to one of the dishoom victims).

Sitting at a near-by table was NRI businessman, Iqbal Sharma, and his family. As the Sharma’s were trying to enjoy some quality parivaar time, they were bothered by the cacophony coming from the Bollywood table. The Sharmas tried to be polite by sending notes through the wait staff asking them to tone it down. The family ultimately  decided to move tables — not dramatic at all (sarcasm).

As they shifted to another part of the swanky restaurant, Khan allegedly crossed paths with Sharma and his frail father-in-law. Saif basically told them to go eff themselves and if they wanted to be in a quiet setting, to head to the library. (Ha! Good one, Saif!) They exchanged some words and then Khan pushed Sharma. To try and stop the brawl, the father-in-law stepped in and took a blow to the jaw. (Really, Saif? That’s just not cool.)

The fight spiraled from there and people were left bruised and battered.

Here’s the question. What did this dude say to Saif to set off the usually very put together Casanova? According to Saif’s statement, Sharma came over and verbally assaulted the Kareena, Karishma and Amrita. Now what kind of Bollywood hero would Saif be if he didn’t fight for his woman?

Can you still call yourself a hero if you’re behind bars? Gandhi did it — so we’ll go with yes. Saif was taken to into police custody after Sharma filed a complaint. Saif left the station within 90 minutes after paying bail of 15,000rs.

All of this thapard press is coming just a month before his new action film, Agent Vinod releases.

So, which do you think will be more dramatic? The fallout of Khan vs Sharma or Agent Vinod?

Photo Credit: Getty

Sound the conch shell and prep the aarti taali! We’ll be nazaar-utaaring and feeding mithai to some very talented Desi actors who are about to launch their own shows on mainstream American Networks.

These aren’t new names to the list of actors who your friends probably claim to be distantly related to. But this is the first time they are each headlining their own sitcoms.

First up is Kal Penn who has been everywhere for the past couple of years. After straddling life between the White House and Los Angles sets, it looks like he’s retired from Obama’s team for the last time — and for a good reason. Following his stint on CBS’ How I Met Your Mother, Kal, who is arguably the first young Desi actors who stopped the frown when it came to brown in mainstream American culture, will be the star of his own show. ABC has picked up the pilot for Prairie Dogs, which stars Penn alongside Michaela Watkins and Dan Fogler.

Want to know what The Namesake star’s show is all about? The Hollywood Reporter published the logline (short description) to Kal and our other Desi actor’s shows:

Prairie Dog Logline: Neil, an uncool cubicle worker (“prairie dog”) at one of the coolest companies in the world, is the victim of identity theft.  When he discovers the thief has created a much more fulfilling, kick ass life with his identity than he ever has, he engages the charismatic conman to help him change his life.

Mindy Kalling has been tickling America’s funny bone on The Office for years and most recently took the nerdy Indian stereotype a step further by getting all intellectual and writing a book. Granted, it was a funny book, so she didn’t lose cool points. Even if she had, her cool factor is skyrocketing right now with the news that Fox is picking up the untitled project she created where, THR reports, she will play a young Bridget Jones type doctor who is trying to navigate her personal and professional life. It sounds little bit like Grey’s Anatomy meeting New Girl, but we can’t wait to see it!

Do you miss Outsourced? Never fear! Gupta, aka Parvesh Cheena is back. This time he’s on CBS with his own show where twenty-something best friends Evan and Rob move from their hometown of Bloomington, Ind., to L.A. to begin their new lives working at Groupon. Evan has trouble breaking his old slothful habits and rather than go out after work to explore L.A. and meet new people, prefers to play online poker with his friends back home. Rob has different plans and is determined to drag Evan, kicking and screaming, along with him.

Damn! That’s three new Desi headlining shows. Which one are you most excited to catch?

Photo Credit: Getty

Not another name song! As if Sheila, Razia, Jalebi Bai, Munni and Channo weren’t enough, the Houseful 2 team thought another one of these pathetic excuses for art would be an innovative enough platform to highlight Malaika Arora Khan’s killer moves.

We get that these tracks — where women wear next to nothing, gyrate around the room and talk about being sexual slaves to men — build hype and possibly sell films. But speaking as ticket paying audience members, we are effing bored!

It’s time to change it up and give us more intelligent lyrics, better choreography and melodies that aren’t reused!

“Anarkali Disco Chali,” Malaika Arora Khan’s new boombat number, disappoints for ten reasons we are very happy to list:

#1) First and foremost, within five seconds, it’s painfully clear that, musically, this is a spin off the amazing Aishwarya Rai, Amitabh Bachachan, Abhishek Bachchan incestuous track, “Kajra Re!”

#2) For some reason, director and producers think that they are making films for either deaf or blind audiences. Why else would they have four men lip synching while only ONE voice is singing? That’s a fauxpas in our book.

#3) Anyone who wears a dress made out of tinfoil would not get into a legit club. If it got too cold, a nipple could puncture the fabric and create a wardrobe malfunction scandal that would tarnish the integrity of the establishment. The costumes in general are a hot mess in this song. How do you explain ascots, jeans, salwars, ghagra’s, hoochie dresses and anarkalis in one shot?

#4) If you’re going insist on gori back up dancers, fine — but at least make sure they know how to dance. The women in this video can’t even sit down on beat. Check out  their wave drop at 17 seconds.

#5) We’re all for seeing a little man cleavage. But if you’re going to have bare bodies hanging out, shouldn’t they be hard bodies? No one wants to see flabby men dancing around the super svelte MAK! What’s worse is that John Abraham is in this song — fully clothed. Fail.

#6) It sounds like they are screaming “What the F^&%” at 00:50. If we can’t understand your English, stick to Hindi!

#7) When MAK sings, “Mujhko hip hop sikha de,”she’s not doing a hip hop move. Get it together and represent!

#8) There’s a moment where Boman Irani & some other lecherous dude come up to MAK and start dancing with her at the end of the song. The scene is a total rip off of Abhishek and Amitabh’s interaction with Ash in “Kajra Re!” So now, not only do we have musical integrity being compromised, but also actual choreographed sequences being lifted from other films. Not a good look.

#9) Malaika is the woman who the world has seen dance to Bollywood music. As the dancer shaking her hips on top of the train next to SRK in “Chaiyaa Chaiyaa,” there’s an expected level of choreography and performance that she doesn’t live up to in “Anarkali” — but it’s not her fault. She’s given relatively basic steps to do, but because her dress is SO small and something could pop out with too heavy a hip shake, Malaika’s movements seem constricted and her normal thumkaliciousness is missing.

#10) When selecting virtual trees to appear in the background of a song, may we suggest people who actually know how to act and appear like they belong in the scene. As these dudes pretended to be drunk, we felt like they were tea tottling little boys who were just oogling at the big film stars on set. Another option would have been to actually force feed them a bottle or two.

If feel like we deserve a bottle for having to sit through this monstrosity of a performance: